Sunday, 1 November 2009

Towards a Female Led Society?

If you click on links, you can hop from blog to blog, website to website and forum to forum and it is entirely possible to immerse oneself in totally Female Led world. Indeed, even avoiding the more lurid whip-cracking, thigh-booted pro-dominatrix sites (not that I have anything against them) one can find a wealth of well-written intelligent and thoughtful accounts of good people living a Female Led lifestyle; descriptions of marriages and relationships where the woman is the undisputed head of the household; tales of female authority and male obedience and numerous articles proposing the benefits of Female Supremacy. These are almost universally positive and laud the advantages, for both male and female, of a Female Led Relationship (FLR) or Female Led Society. Having spend a happy afternoon in this pursuit, you could be forgiven therefore for thinking that we are truly on our way towards a world ruled by women.

One only has to step outside one's front door however, to discover that we are not there yet...

Downtrodden and put-upon women are everywhere, women and girls are to be found mooning over unsuitable and inconsiderate men, and chauvinism is still alive and tolerated, if no longer actively condoned.

I would like to live in a Female Led world. Do I think I will ever see that day come? Not in my lifetime (I am in my late forties). Where do I think we are now and what sort of world would I like to see? Let me address the second part of that question first. I think that there are two models of society that are relevant here: the first is what might be termed the pre-Victorian era where women were not allowed to vote, not allowed to own property, were considered to be an adjunct to (or in some cases the property of) her husband who was assumed to be the unquestioned head of the household. This to me, with the roles reversed naturally, would be the ideal goal. I can't see this society coming about in any realistic time-frame however - if ever. The second model of society is what is sometimes referred to as the "1950s Household". My previous post (A Perfect World) typifies this. In this society the woman had her own life, but was seen very much in a supporting role to her husband who was of course the authority in the household. This type of society would, I believe, provide a very acceptable lifestyle to those of us in this community - again, naturally providing it is the wife in authority and the husband in the supporting role.

How close are we to this? Well, given what I said above about the difference between desire and reality, still not very close. If I said to a neighbour that I lived in an FLR I doubt that he or she would know what I meant. Even if they did, they might consider it at best a bit strange, and at worst perverted. I think that we as a community are where the gay community were in the early 60s. Homosexuality is now no longer illegal (I'm referring to the UK here), but few gay couples would openly declare their relationship for fear of ridicule, discrimination, persecution or worse. Now, some 4 decades on, whilst some gays still reside in the closet, most of us know of at least one gay couple living openly and happily as such. There are of course a few intolerant dissenters, but most people would take a "live and let live" attitude even if not entirely comfortable with homosexuality themselves. I would like to be able to say to someone "I live in a Female Led Relationship where my wife is the authority in the household" and for him or her to say something like "Oh yes, there's another couple in my street who live like that - nice people...."

Perhaps that's something I might see in my lifetime...

How to get there? That's the subject of another post.


BOB said...

MR Stevet

I just wanted to say that i just discovered your blog a few days ago and i enjoy your writings.

I like the fact that you write about Female-Led Mariages and the advancement of women in society and the workplace.

Too often Female Supremacy blogs get caught up in the BSDM side of things. I hope that you can continue to write more posts on the subjects in your last few posts .And i would be intersted in your opinions on how both men and women can work toward a Female-Led society.And ways in which how husbands like yourself can serve as an example for couples who are in patriachal male led marriages.

I often overhear women talking at bars [pubs] during lunchbreaks with their female friends and co-workers.And the ones who have husbands who do all of the housework and basicly do as their told are not ashamed to brag about it. A few weeks ago one women lamented to her female coworkers that her husband didnt help aruond the house. Out of the 6 women the other 5 expressed surprise. Two had husbands that helped out.The other 3 had husbands who did it all.They probaly would not have used terms like FLR & wife -led marriege or female supremacy.But essentialy that is what they were practicing.And while they weren t trying to convert anyone to their lifestyle, that was there effect.Because the first woman was fascinated and asked them how they managed to make their husbands "do as they 're told".Sadly i had to go back to work in the middle of the conversation.But i remember how the women giggled and laughed as they joyfully bragged about how their husbands " knew who was the boss".Obviously the husbands were [unwittingly] spreading the concept of Wife Led Marriage by setting a good example.

This and other experiences makes me think that female led marriages are fairly widespread[but not actually called by the terms FLR or WLM].And that despite what you wrote in your post ,we are defintly heading toward a female led future a lot faster then you think[at least in America,can't speak about anywhere else].

Thank you for writing such an interesting blog.I hope that you can write about what should be womans role in society,home and the workplace and what should be man's.

BOB said...

Mr SteveT
By the way.I love the photo that you use for this post.It really symbolizes Wife Led Marriage!

Maybe i'm odd.But i have always found these kind of photos ,which show normally dressed women in charge and obedient househusbands in aprons around their waists ,more erotic than photos of leather clad dominatrixes.I love the fact that while both the women and men are atractive in these kind of photos, they also look and dress like the kind of person that would be your neighbor.They all have an everyday kind of attractiveness about them.I do get sick of some of the "female Supremacy "websites that show only fat out of shape males.And women that never seem to smile.The women in the stock photo sites always seem to have a smug and content smile on their face as they relax and watch their husband do the housework.Or they show the woman reading a book or something and basiclly taking it for granted that he should be waiting on her hand and foot.

The fact that the stock photo sites are full of these types of photos.And the fact that they are meant to be used in magizines [especially female oriented ones]. Seem to indicate that they are striking a chord with many women.As you know, many of them show not just househusbands but depict women defeating theirr male rivals at work.Some even depict business women planting their foot triumphantly on their conquered male rival's prostate body.

Women obviousely take a delicious pleasure in seeing these types of photos . Otherwise the magazines wouldn't buy them and the photo sites wouldn't sell them.

i think that these types of photos are usefull in making the concept of a female led society comfortable to most "mainstream" "ordinary" women.One wonders how many women were empowered by these pictures to assert their authority over their husbands at home.

For better or for worse most women[but not all] aren't interested in BSDM.But i don't know many women that wouldn't want a cute hunk [ in most of these types of photos the househusband is athletic & shirtless] that would do all of the housework while she relaxed and would wait on her hand and foot.And would not only be respectful to her girlfriends.But would quietly serve them refreshments when they came over to visit.
They may not want a "slave"[at least they wouldnt want to use that term].But most women i know wouldnt mind if a half[or all] naked man removed their shoes after they came home from work, and fetched them wine to drink while they[the husband]massaged their feet.
i think that these photos defintly prove that we are headed toward a female led future.

SteveT said...


Thank you very much for your nice comments. It's good to be appreciated and it's nice to hear from readers of this blog - I sometimes think that no-one is interested in what I write so it's definitely good to get feedback.

I am going to write more about how we can promote a Female-led society, in fact the last post was going to be about that but it started to get a bit too long so I decided to split it into two parts. Part two coming soon...

I agree with you (and also the points that you made in one of your other comments) that there female-led marriages are more widespread than we might assume - it's just that they don't recognise them as such. In fact that was one of the points I was going to make in my next post.

Thanks again for your contribution(s). Watch this space and do keep in touch...

Anonymous said...

"Downtrodden and put-upon women are everywhere, women and girls are to be found mooning over unsuitable and inconsiderate men, and chauvinism is still alive and tolerated, if no longer actively condoned."

Chauvinism? Yes I see a lot of that in women.

Tom said...

As far as I remember I have always loved the idea of a female led relationship and even society.

I have tried and am still in the process of convincing my wife to lead such a relationship with me. I already do most of the choires in and around the house including taking the kids to school and picking them up, cleaning the apartment, doing the laundry, and doing all of the shopping for the family. She likes that very much and even brags about this to her friends, who are not so lucky with men. Soon, I'm going to show her websites like and others in the hope that she will take a more active role in this.

An entirely different chapter is the sexual aspect of it, though.
I can tell you that it took years of time and effort for her to see my submissive sexuality as something positive.
I have been struggling for years to convince her to be more dominant in the bedroom. And this is still an ongoing project. However in the fall of 2009 something very positive happened: For the first time, we played out a role play scenario and she was truly wonderful at playing the spoiled, dominant goddess pictured in the many pictures here on this blog (the ones where the wife relaxes/watches TV, while the submissive husband is working around the house).
I can feel that she is getting better and better at naturally playing this ice-cold, spoiled queen role. We are definitely headed in the right direction.

Last week, we played a scene where she was watching an entire show on TV (for about 1 hour) and during that entire time had me hold her feet up with my arms on a pillow without any footstool support. Boy did this hurt already after a short while. But it comes even better: Not only did she make me carry her feet for her, she also made me service them orally for the full length of the show (well, at some point she made me get some pistachios for her from the kitchen only to be told afterwards that I was to "get down on [my] knees again and keep licking"). For those foot-enthusiasts among you: She was wearing a toe ring on each of her index toes and a super-sexy purple nail polish. Also, she would move her feet in a way that she was directing her wishes to me without talking (e.g. spreading toes means I had to tongue clean in between them). This wordless and kind of agreed-upon way of commanding the husband around is very sexy for me.
She rarely talked to me during this (except for some short commands like "move the pillow higher" or "slower" or "now my heels") but was rather enjoying the TV show. She laughed a lot at the jokes on TV and enjoyed her drink, which I had arranged before she entered the living room. I think this feeling of being ignored entirely, yet used in such a demeaning way is the essence of what drives men like us into a female led relationship.

It was truly an amazing evening and I felt like I could look through a window showing us, how our future might look like. I'm still drunk with happiness whenever I think back to that evening.

One of the next steps will be to add more and more to our scenarios and to slowly(!) make them become an integral part of our daily lives (only when we are alone w/o kids of course!).

Here is a list of what I would like to achieve next:
- giving her full control over my orgasms by locking myself up into a chastity belt 24/7. She already signaled great interest into buying such a device
- handing over the finances to her
- adding stricter disciplinary measures to our relationship. This means that I'm to be punished severely by her if I don't obey her requests (household or sexual) on time or in the quality she desires.

Tom said...

I also want to advise anyone, who is trying something similar: Don't be pushy, ever(!), with your wife! They really hate it. It has taken me years to convince her and my wife is slowly coming out of her shell which is a process that I enjoy watch happening very very much. However, whenever I was pushy with her, she took it badly an d we even fought over it countless times. The approach should be:
- Take it easy. Take your time.
- Be confident about your sexuality and your FLR related desires. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing!
- Help her out understanding you better by introducing books about this topic to her (one at a time).

Anonymous said...

Wife led marriages or female led relationships are fine with me. I handle my employment and that is it. Wife manages everything else. No problems - very happy.

Anonymous said...

I get a good glimpse of the future gynarchy every single day because I have been working in a female dominated and female controlled work environment for more than 20 years now. The director and her two middle managers are females and two of them have a male secretaries. There are over 600 employees in this marketing facility and 500 are females and the other 100 are males. The females consistently outperform the males with their marketing skills, collaboration, communication among the female gender. There is no doubt among the office males that the females are superior in every category of performing their job. We males in the office always feel marginalize, emasculated, inferior to our female counter-parts. We office males are seen but not heard, outnumbered and powerless ! All of the women know this and they take full advantage of their 21st Century women in power domination. These women have "absolutely no respect" for the office male gender. The females are hiring females, promoting females and empowering other females ! Imagine being an office male listening to the sounds of hundreds of clacking heels and stilettos on the office floor every day. It is a constant physical, mental, visual, and verbal reminder that the office male gender had better adapt to kissing female ass or the women in charge will put their heels up his ass. I personally use submissive body language and posture to avoid conflict with the female bosses such as my head being tilted in the down position and never walking in front of or beside of any women, I always walk behind them. I always volunteer to get coffee, doughnut and bagel for my female bosses. I also volunteer to help decorate the office of holidays like, Valentine's Day, Easter, Mothers Day, National Women's Day, Breast Cancer Awareness, and any female empowerment forums. I stay away from fathers day because it is frowned upon by the ruling female majority. The female bosses are keen in observing those types of submissive male gestures and posture, so you will soon become their "male office pet" aka(MOP}to use as they see fit to do so. I have about 12 male friends and only 2 out of the 12 have male bosses ! I have no doubt in my mind that within the next 80 years or so, ALL MALES WILL BE DOMINATED IN THE HOME AND THE WORK PLACE BY WOMEN !!

Gynarchy said...

Hello everyone , I'm working with the goddess dawn to invite you for helping us to achieve the matriarchy for the benefits of the world . Firstly, we need you to join this group at FB :
And join this great website too please:
This last one too ,,
We want the migration of men so you can live with us in places we will have soon . We want everyone to survive. There is a farm and a dungeon in California if you are interested .

Contact us;
516-847-2209 Text 631-894-4414.

Goddess dawn E-mail:

Gynarchy said...

Hey everyone
Our goddess said the following :
The sex games - it is what they "think" they want. I monitor world stats. They need to experience the bad, the beatings, the traps, the hatred, the torture and the magnitude of literal torture WOMEN have lived for how long now? It may be that it is the only way men will come to realize whooops that was a wrong turn...and some never get out. Others will watch, until they are convinced they should jump into the dark tank of uncertainty...and then come to realize, shit I should've ran...but meanwhile the "alleged" submissive men are seeking out the dominating dungeons of the world because it is the largest of fetish-ism-sex-sector, but it is leaving them the emptiest. More fakes than anything and that is not an opinion either. I go by math and I wish my stats were more positive. I don't want men wiped out like this, through traps, games, pure hatred, and sexual lures to nothingness. It was a set up from the start and the men need to learn to: DIFFERENTIATE between what is real and what is not. If it leaves you with nothing, and completes, or accomplishes no result then it was nothing to start with. Math. Is there anyone who sees the math