Sunday, 1 November 2009

Towards a Female Led Society?

If you click on links, you can hop from blog to blog, website to website and forum to forum and it is entirely possible to immerse oneself in totally Female Led world. Indeed, even avoiding the more lurid whip-cracking, thigh-booted pro-dominatrix sites (not that I have anything against them) one can find a wealth of well-written intelligent and thoughtful accounts of good people living a Female Led lifestyle; descriptions of marriages and relationships where the woman is the undisputed head of the household; tales of female authority and male obedience and numerous articles proposing the benefits of Female Supremacy. These are almost universally positive and laud the advantages, for both male and female, of a Female Led Relationship (FLR) or Female Led Society. Having spend a happy afternoon in this pursuit, you could be forgiven therefore for thinking that we are truly on our way towards a world ruled by women.

One only has to step outside one's front door however, to discover that we are not there yet...

Downtrodden and put-upon women are everywhere, women and girls are to be found mooning over unsuitable and inconsiderate men, and chauvinism is still alive and tolerated, if no longer actively condoned.

I would like to live in a Female Led world. Do I think I will ever see that day come? Not in my lifetime (I am in my late forties). Where do I think we are now and what sort of world would I like to see? Let me address the second part of that question first. I think that there are two models of society that are relevant here: the first is what might be termed the pre-Victorian era where women were not allowed to vote, not allowed to own property, were considered to be an adjunct to (or in some cases the property of) her husband who was assumed to be the unquestioned head of the household. This to me, with the roles reversed naturally, would be the ideal goal. I can't see this society coming about in any realistic time-frame however - if ever. The second model of society is what is sometimes referred to as the "1950s Household". My previous post (A Perfect World) typifies this. In this society the woman had her own life, but was seen very much in a supporting role to her husband who was of course the authority in the household. This type of society would, I believe, provide a very acceptable lifestyle to those of us in this community - again, naturally providing it is the wife in authority and the husband in the supporting role.

How close are we to this? Well, given what I said above about the difference between desire and reality, still not very close. If I said to a neighbour that I lived in an FLR I doubt that he or she would know what I meant. Even if they did, they might consider it at best a bit strange, and at worst perverted. I think that we as a community are where the gay community were in the early 60s. Homosexuality is now no longer illegal (I'm referring to the UK here), but few gay couples would openly declare their relationship for fear of ridicule, discrimination, persecution or worse. Now, some 4 decades on, whilst some gays still reside in the closet, most of us know of at least one gay couple living openly and happily as such. There are of course a few intolerant dissenters, but most people would take a "live and let live" attitude even if not entirely comfortable with homosexuality themselves. I would like to be able to say to someone "I live in a Female Led Relationship where my wife is the authority in the household" and for him or her to say something like "Oh yes, there's another couple in my street who live like that - nice people...."

Perhaps that's something I might see in my lifetime...

How to get there? That's the subject of another post.

A Perfect World?

Many of you will have seen this already. This is a genuine article from the 1950's publication "Housekeeping Monthly". I think this is a very good description of an ideal relationship and is as true today as it was then - just one teensey weeney little alteration is required to make this applicable to our modern society - I think that should be obvious to anyone reading this blog!

(If you click on the picture it will be a little more readable)